ANOTHER IMPORTANT WORD

My last post was about an important word in marriage.  Appreciation is vital for a good marriage.  Today I am going to write about another important word for a successful marriage.  This word is actually commanded to the wife by scripture.

In Ephesians 5:33 wives are commanded to respect their husbands. "... let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33b (ESV)

Many years ago I read the story of a young woman who was studying the scriptures and came across this verse.  She felt confident that she was respecting her husband.  She decided to ask him if he felt that she was respectful of him.  He had to tell her that there was something she did that made him feel disrespected.  Right now, I can't remember what she did, but I can imagine from things I have seen myself.  Likely, she would interrupt him in front of others or contradict something he said unnecessarily.  

The young wife was shocked and decided that she would correct her behavior and do her best to show respect to her husband.  She was a wise woman.

Men are programmed to need respect.  If you look further at the verse mentioned above you

see that the husband is commanded to love his wife while the wife is commanded to respect her husband.  This has to do with a fundamental difference in the needs of husbands and wives.  A husband who is always feeling as if his wife does not respect him loses dignity.  He begins to feel like his marriage is a trap.  Even if he never chooses to leave his wife pysically, he will withdraw emotionally.  The marriage will not thrive as it should.

It is easy for a wife to believe she respects her husband.  The important thing is for the husband to feel as if he is respected by his wife.  

I believe the young wife in the story I mentioned did a wise thing by asking her husband if she was respectful of him.  If you are a wife, ask your husband, but do not become angry if he points out a way in which he is feeling disrespected.  Instead, be willing to change.

If you are a husband who feels as if his wife is not respectful of him, gently let her know.  Be sure that you are showing love to her.  Let her know how important your marriage is to you.  Be sure that you are worthy of respect.

Now, that said, this is a command of God.  There are husbands who do not behave in a way that is worthy of respect.  That doesn't mean the wife has the right to disobey this commandment.  In teaching ladies' classes I have had women say something about how their husbands are not deserving of respect and so they shouldn't have to show respect.  Have enough respect for God and his commandments that you will obey no matter what.  

 AN IMPORTANT WORD

Recently I read an article by a man who told of something that happened to him early in his marriage.  A young engaged couple was going to married couples and asking for one word that expressed something important in marriage, perhaps what the couple felt was the most important quality.

They eventually asked this man and, after so many years, he doesn't remember what he said.  But, he did say that if asked that question now, he would answer with "forgiveness."  After nearly 51 years of marriage I can say that forgiveness is definitely vital for a good marriage.  A marriage partner who holds grudges and brings up past mistakes will drive their mate away. Even if the marriage survives it will not thrive.

However, earlier today I realized that another very important quality in a marriage is appreciation. The person, whether mate or child or co-worker, who feels appreciated is much more likely to succeed.  

In marriage, this is vital.  Sometimes the day to day work - housework, going to the job, can feel overwhelming. Then if during the time the couple has together they focus on their problems or negative things, it becomes discouraging.  The  husband who is a faithful provider can feel as if his wife doesn't appreciate it.  The wife who cares for the children and keeps her home can feel as if her husband doesn't even notice what all she does.  

But, appreciation must be sincere.  Words of appreciation that are only spoken to manipulate will not be helpful.  First, your heart must be right.  You must realize the blessing you have in your mate and feel truly appreciative of all they do.  

When your husband notices that you are exhausted after a hard day of work and he steps up to help clean up after dinner, tell him you appreciate his help. Say, "thank you." When your wife sees that you are tired after a difficult meeting and she brings you a cup of tea, let her know how much that means to you. Keep your eyes open and show that you notice.

Do you have a faithful husband or wife? Do you feel the blessing that you have in them? Show them and tell them.  Give them appreciation on a regular basis.  Your marriage will be blessed.

And, I must tell you that I feel very appreciated by my husband and try to let him know often how much I appreciate him.  I can say from experience that appreciation makes a difference.

WHAT WILL HE FIND?

In my reading this morning I came to this question:  ...when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?” from Luke 18:8.  I have read this many times, but today it really stood out to me. As faithful Christians, we are always praying for the Lord's return.  But, what will he find on earth when he does return?

It is easy for us to look around and see that Satan's lies have taken over many lives. The wars are devastating. The abuse of the innocent is appalling. And the lack of committment among people who claim to be Christians is the saddest of all.

However, there are bright spots among the sorrow. I hear of the faithful work of many Ukrainian Christians during these dark days. They continue to share the gospel and worship together. They reach out to share with those who have been displaced. They are grieving, certainly, but they are showing faith.  And the church is growing!

We hear of Christians in the Middle East and Asia being imprisoned for their faith. Some even die in prison never giving up their faith. 

Each individual is responsible to hold on to their faith. Be sure that when Jesus does return to take his faithful home, that you will be among them. But, not only that, share your faith. There are many people hurting and wondering what the point of life is.  They need to hear that there is hope beyond this world. 

More than likely, you meet people everyday who do not have faith.  You cannot give them that faith, but you can tell them about the one who can. 

Remember, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments." John 14:15 (ESV). Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20 (ESV)

If you love him, you will share the good news with everyone. Do your part to see that the Lord finds faith on the earth when he returns. 

WHERE ARE YOU PLANTED?

I took the video above on a recent hike.  It is dry season here.  It hasn't rained in weeks. The grass is dry and brown. Yet, here where there was running water, the trees, ferns and plants on the bank are green and growing.  It is a beautiful spot.

This made me think of Psalm 1. Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

We need to be sure that we are planted by the living water of God's word. We must drink from it freely and often in order to flourish like the tree by the stream.

Here are some more pictures from our hike, just for your enjoyment!  We love getting out in creation.

This Bushbuk baby kept an eye on us as we walked by. Notice those big ears!

We managed to get a picture of these hornbills from above.

When we got back to our car this Vervet Monkey had taken up residence. He really didn't want to leave, lol!

God's creation is amazing! 

WOULD YOU BE FAITHFUL? 

It was late in the night of February 19, 2018.  The students at the government boarding school in a small town of Yobe State, Nigeria, were sleeping peacefully.  Suddenly the night was torn apart with the sounds of violence. A group of soldiers from one of the Boko Haram groups was attacking the school. Soon they rounded up 110 young girls and kidnapped them. Five girls died during or shortly after the attack.

The girls were taken to the group's camp and held there. Five weeks after the attack 104 of
the girls were released after being forced to recite the Shahada, the Islamic declaration of
faith, as a condition of release.  One girl was not released, Leah Sharibu, a 14 year old student,  refused to renounce her faith in Jesus Christ. On May 14, 2026 Leah turned 23 years old, still a captive of these Islamic militants.  

When Leah refused to accept Islam, her captors said she would be a slave for life. The only reports about Leah have come through other captives who were in the camp with her and later released. They have said she was forcibly married to one of the soldiers and gave birth to three children. After that she was divorced by the soldier and forced to marry another soldier. All through this, it is believed that she has remained faithful to Jesus.

This is a horrendous story. It should have been properly dealt with years ago, but it is also an inspiring story.  Very few of us are likely to be kidnapped by Islamists. But, we could face a lot of different trials.  The future is unknown to us. The question we must ponder is, "Would I be faithful?"

Scripture contains examples of faithfulness.  Consider Daniel.  Even when the edict went forth that no one was to pray to any god other than the king, Daniel continued his faithful prayers. Daniel ended up in a den of hungry lions. God sent an angel to shut the mouths of the lions, but Daniel did not know beforehand that God would spare him, yet he was faithful.

Daniel's companions, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, were told to bow down to the golden statue Nebuchadnezzar had set up. They were given every chance to bow down as they had been commanded. They refused. They knew that if they refused the king would have them thrown into a fiery furnace. They stayed faithful. God chose to protect them to the point that not even their clothes smelled like smoke when they came out. But remember, they did not know if God would save their lives. They were prepared to die.

There are others; Moses, Samuel, David, Isaiah, Mary, Paul, James and many others. They had to face both physical and emotional pain, but remained faithful.

Of course, the greatest example of faithfulness is our precious Lord Jesus Christ. He knew exactly what he was facing, he prayed to be spared, but he chose God's will.  

God himself is perfect in faithfulness. We can trust him completely. 

We never know what is coming. Pray constantly that no matter what comes your way that God will give you the strength to be faithful and to never deny him.

While you are praying, remember Leah. Pray for her daily.  Pray that she can remain faithful and perhaps become a force for good where she is.  Pray that she can be rescued from captivity.  Pray for the many others who are living in places where Christians face these kinds of dangers daily.

The Leah Foundation was inspired by Leah Sharibu's story.  If you would like to read more and see what kind of work they are doing you can check out their website: https://www.leah-foundation.org/.  Please note that I am not necessarily endorsing this foundation, but I found it interesting.

CONTENTMENT

In my last post I wrote briefly about covetousness.  A lot more could have been said including the idea that contentment is the opposite of covetousness.  A truly contented person has no desire for things that belong to another person.

Contentment doesn't come naturally to us as human beings. As I mentioned in the previous post, we are practically forced to become covetous. It requires determination and a lot of wisdom to resist the temptations.

As I mentioned in the earlier post, God considers covetousness a form of idolatry. It is a much more dangerous sin than we like to think. On the other hand, true contentment comes from a firm faith that God gives us what we need. It leads to a stronger relationship with God and a much happier life here on earth.

Consider what scripture says about contentment.  

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 (ESV)

It is so easy to think that something or other will be a great gain for us, but Paul says that godliness with contentment is great gain.  Just think if you are a contented godly Christian you are richer than the richest person in the world.  

Soldiers also asked him, “And we, what shall we do?” And he said to them, “Do not extort money from anyone by threats or by false accusation, and be content with your wages.”  
Luke 3:14 (ESV)

The soldiers asked John the Baptist what they should do.  One of the things he told them was to be content with their wages. That can be difficult for modern people. I suspect it has always been difficult for many.  It seems like many people are always trying to increase their wages even if they have everything they need.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10 (ESV)

Paul says that he is content with a very difficult existence. We know that he struggled with some kind of health issue (he did ask God to take it away, but was content when God said no), he was treated terribly by his fellow countrymen. He was even stoned and left for dead. Yet, he was content for the sake of Christ.  What more than Christ can we ask for?

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:10-13 (ESV)

Paul tells the Philippians that he appreciates their concern for him. He wants them to know that he is content with whatever happens. His secret? That last verse, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." 

Being contented does not come easily, especially when our situation is dire, but if we know where our strength comes from, we can do it.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 (ESV)

Stay away from the love of money. In another place we are told that the love of money is the root of every kind of evil.  Living in this world we can see the truth of that.  What evil do you hear of on television or online that doesn't have its roots in the love of money? It is a rare thing.  We are called upon to be content with what we have. Even if we should lose everything in a disaster of some kind, He will never leave us.

Truly, we have an abundance of blessings.  How many of you have to walk a mile to get water?  A dear sister who has now gone to be with her Lord showed me the meaning of contentment many years ago.  Her son was deathly ill and several of us were trying to advise her on caring for him.  I asked her if she had a source of clean water.  She enthusiastically answered that she did and that it was near.  Later my husband, who was familiar with the area, told me that the source of water she was so grateful for was a stream about a mile from her house.  She had to take a large container to that stream and fill it.  Yet, she was very happy to have the water so near. Although this happened more than 20 years ago, I have never forgotten it.  Her contentment was a blessing to me.

When temptations to be covetous or discontented come, remember who is with you and who is providing for you.  Have the faith to be contented.

 

 You Shall Not Covet

Exodus chapter 20 tells the story of the giving of the ten commandments.  Immediately after God tells the people not to murder, not to commit adultery, not to steal, not to lie, he tells them not to covet. He tells them not to covet anything belonging to another.

As Christians we know that we should not kill.  We recognize the sin of adultery as another thing that Christians should never do. We would not steal. We even know we should not lie. Rarely do we think about the sin of covetousness.  I think that might be because we define it too narrowly.

We look around at our neighbors and see the things they have. We might like the looks of their new car or the pool in their backyard. We begin to think about how nice a new BMW would be but we would NEVER want to take our neighbor's BMW. Instead, we figure out how to go get one of our own. Never mind if we really need a new BMW, but we want one, so we do what it takes to get it.

Or maybe we get catalogs in the mail from some of our favorite stores. We find ourselves leafing through the catalogs repeatedly and thinking of the things we want. Not that we really need any of those things, we just want them. And, hey, they don't belong to our neighbors.

I have heard of people saying that it isn't wrong to covet items in a store or catalog, "After all," they say, "They don't belong to anyone." 

Covetousness is a dangerous sin.  Consider these scriptures:  

¹⁵  And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” (Luke 13:15 ESV)

²⁸  And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. ²⁹  They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, ³⁰  slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, ³¹  foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. (Romans 1:28-31 ESV)

 

³  But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. (Ephesians 5:3 ESV)

⁵  Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. (Colossians 3:5 ESV)

Notice that covetousness is put right there with murder, deceit and other evils. Ephesians says that covetousness should not even be named among us as God's people. But that scripture in Colossians really hits hard.  It says that covetousness is idolatry!  When we are covetous, we are putting some thing ahead of God and that is idolatry. No idolater will enter heaven.

We live in a world that is designed to make us covet.  Advertising is everywhere. Even when we go to the grocery store we see large displays touting some product we must have to make our lives better. Billboards along the road, commercial breaks on television, ads in magazines. Where can you look and not see advertisements?  The whole purpose of those ads is to make us dissatisfied with what we have and to cause us to covet this thing, whatever it is, that is sure to make us happy.

The scripture from Luke above, tells us that our lives don't consist in the abundance of our possessions. We need to remember that covetousness can lead to the loss of our souls for eternity.  We need to examine ourselves. It is so easy to become covetous when the temptations are all around us. Often we don't even recognize that we are coveting. Think about it.

Oh, and by the way, even those items in the catalog and store belong to someone.