AN IMPORTANT WORD

Recently I read an article by a man who told of something that happened to him early in his marriage.  A young engaged couple was going to married couples and asking for one word that expressed something important in marriage, perhaps what the couple felt was the most important quality.

They eventually asked this man and, after so many years, he doesn't remember what he said.  But, he did say that if asked that question now, he would answer with "forgiveness."  After nearly 51 years of marriage I can say that forgiveness is definitely vital for a good marriage.  A marriage partner who holds grudges and brings up past mistakes will drive their mate away. Even if the marriage survives it will not thrive.

However, earlier today I realized that another very important quality in a marriage is appreciation. The person, whether mate or child or co-worker, who feels appreciated is much more likely to succeed.  

In marriage, this is vital.  Sometimes the day to day work - housework, going to the job, can feel overwhelming. Then if during the time the couple has together they focus on their problems or negative things, it becomes discouraging.  The  husband who is a faithful provider can feel as if his wife doesn't appreciate it.  The wife who cares for the children and keeps her home can feel as if her husband doesn't even notice what all she does.  

But, appreciation must be sincere.  Words of appreciation that are only spoken to manipulate will not be helpful.  First, your heart must be right.  You must realize the blessing you have in your mate and feel truly appreciative of all they do.  

When your husband notices that you are exhausted after a hard day of work and he steps up to help clean up after dinner, tell him you appreciate his help. Say, "thank you." When your wife sees that you are tired after a difficult meeting and she brings you a cup of tea, let her know how much that means to you. Keep your eyes open and show that you notice.

Do you have a faithful husband or wife? Do you feel the blessing that you have in them? Show them and tell them.  Give them appreciation on a regular basis.  Your marriage will be blessed.

And, I must tell you that I feel very appreciated by my husband and try to let him know often how much I appreciate him.  I can say from experience that appreciation makes a difference.